A Day on Facebook - Real me vs Envy me

I’ve been thinking (yes I know that is a dangerous concept for me) since my last post about posting on my Facebook status just the very normal daily stuff, I also thought about how I could make that daily stuff make me the envy of all my FB friends and family. The thing is, I don’t really post much daily stuff on Facebook so why should I start now. Then it came to me I could do a blog about how my day goes with both a normal FB post and an envy inducing post.  I had better dig out the adjectives and synonyms for this one folks!

5:45 am - My alarm tells me it’s time to feckin go to work. It mocks me in my groggy half-sleep.

5:45 am - I am sound asleep all snuggled in bed with my furry babies. I am having the most wonderful dream. Music softly enters into my consciousness and I am awakened by Siri jokingly telling me it’s feckin time to go to work. I can’t help but laugh every morning when I hear it.

5:48 am – I have to wake the boy-child. It is impossible. How many times will I enter his room  this day.

5:48 am – It is time to go wake up my remarkable son.  He has soccer practice this early winter morn. I get such a kick (lol) out of how soundly he sleeps, but I get to go in repeatedly for the next half hour and do all kinds of silly things to wake him up.

5:53 am – I enter once again the lair of the boy child. He is still unresponsive.  I just want coffee.

5:53 am – Oh boy another fun attempt to get him awake. Maybe I will tickle his chin and see just how crazy he reacts. I am so amazed by the talent of this child.

5:55 am – I remember boy child asked for a cup of coffee this morning. Augh! I guess he will get the one I am brewing and I will put another pot on for myself.

5:55 am – I am so excited Boy Child has asked for coffee instead of tea, he is growing up so quickly. My little 17 year old is drinking coffee, and how sweet is it that he gets my cup.

6:00 am – Open girl childs door to wake her up. She is sitting in bed on her phone already. I get a grunt and a nod to let me know she is a functioning human. She looks like I feel.

6:00 am – I need to get my sweet little girl up so I enter her room and find her already awake and sitting up in bed. She is so responsible.  She is already checking her messages on her phone, I bet it’s that new superhot boyfriend she has. The guys are just queuing up to date her. I am always in awe of her beauty.

6:02 am – AUGH!!!! He still is not up. Can anyone out there in FB land help?

6:02 am – AUGH !!!! He is still not up. I guess I need to get the dogs in here to give me a hand. He just loves getting licked by the dogs. Aren’t dogs so useful for so many reasons?

6:04 am – Success boy child is up and grabs the bathroom seconds before the girl child. Let the yelling commence. My head is thumping. I knew I should have had that 3^rd glass of wine last night.

6:04 am – My boy is up and so excited to go to soccer practice. He loves the challenge of only having 11 minutes to clean up, dress and drive to practice. He won’t have any problem as his nickname is “Speedy” for a reason.  You notice in this post I don’t even mention “the bathroom”.  We don’t want anyone imagining any of us in “the bathroom”.

6:20 am – Coffee finally.

6:20 am – I have been so looking forward to this morning cuppa joe. There is nothing like the smell of freshly ground Seattle’s Best #4.  Just a drop of fresh organic cream (I really need to get my own cow) to make it just perfect. I really need to have some friends over early some morning before work to share a cup with me along with that cream cheese Danish recipe I have been meaning to try.

6:32 am – Trying to coax the girl child out of the bathroom. My eyes and legs are crossed I need in there so badly.

6:32 am – We don’t post about bathrooms remember.

7:12 am – Time to feckin leave for work. Wish me luck, the fog is as thick as pea soup so I know it will give some old lady the excuse to drive 25 mph instead of her usual 45 mph on a 75 mph  highway.  Grrrrr L

7:12 am – Yippee it’s time to hop into my sporty little Honda and cruise on into work. On my way I get to drop my stunningly beautiful daughter off at school. The drive will be extra challenging this foggy morning. I will have to drive extra careful because it will be difficult to see any deer that linger too close to the highway. Can you believe that the speed limit is 75 mph on Hwy 36? That just seems so dangerous and it makes the drive to work pass so quickly. I’d much rather slow down and enjoy the scenery and let those sweet little old ladies pass me by. Vrooom vroom, maybe I’ll give them a wink and see if they want to race (LOL).

10:18 am – I’m starving. I have a tea bag and some Belvita Biscuits in my desk – woo hoo the breakfast of champions. Let’s see if I can get more than a few bites before someone walks in wanting to make changes to their event tonight. Yes we’d love to reverse the entire set-up of 100 tables and 800 chairs in the main hall, we live to make you happy!  That last sentence is to be said in a really sarcastic tone – this is the real me not the envy me me.

10:18 am – I have been so busy this morning the time has just flown by. I think I will have a moment to brew me a cup of green tea and have a healthy fiber biscuit for my breakfast. It is so exciting when we have these large balls in the main hall. To see it go from a blank space to a fully decorated fantasy land in just a day or two is just so amazing. The crew here all work so hard to make it all perfect. It is such an honor to work at such a wonderful place with such a great team.

1:03 pm – My lunch time has now passed, no one to cover the desk.  A meeting just arrived in the conference room which is in between me and the microwave.  Do I dare risk the wrath of the boss and ask if they’d mind if I heat my lunch up quickly so I can eat (with multiple interruptions) at my desk. Woo hoo 9 hours straight sitting here, just might as well glue my butt to the chair. I’ll probably just starve.  I need to lose some weight anyway. My body doesn’t even recognize the term physically fit.

1:03 pm – We are short staffed today so I volunteer to my boss to work through lunch, it’s the least I can do. I have a chicken a la orange to microwave when I get a chance. Maybe I’ll pass on lunch as fasting can be a very healthy alternative. Maybe if it quiets down I will be able to get online and start planning our amazing summer vacation. We hope this year to get back to nature and enjoy lots of outdoor activities. I hope to find a really nice cabin with a gourmet kitchen (much like my new one) so I can try out several of those new recipes in that French cookbook I’ve had my eye on. It’s a good thing I am so fit and can eat just about anything and not have to worry about the weight.     Ok, I am just plain lying here and will probably burn in hell.

3:30 pm – Whoever said get a government job and you’ll be set for life. Never had to work several years without a raise, deal with insane procedures and political games.  Yes I have it made, living the American dream.

3:30 pm – I am living the American Dream! I have a job that will provide me with a retirement plan (provided I work for a minimum of 5 years).  I get to look for creative ways to improve the flow of paperwork which I hope my bosses notice so I can get a pay rise once the taxpayers feel like the recession has ended. I am so happy to do my part in the meantime knowing that for me to get a raise that the good citizens of this town will have to pay a few cents more each year that they could spend on baby formula or a decent roof over their heads.  I think I may look into volunteering in the community too so I can give back even more to this town that provides me with a steady job I love so much.                Okay, I am really going to burn in hell for that one.

4:59 pm – Time to go home! Rain slick roads should make it an adventure. Pray for me.

4:59 pm – A productive day at work comes to a close. Now the drive home through the much needed rain, I am looking forward to the drive from work to home on the rain-slick roads. I love the adrenaline rush! I look forward to the day I will be driving a new Porsche so I can imagine that I’m driving in a grand prix race, windows down, breeze blowing through my hair living the dream.

6:08 pm – Stupid slow trucks (sorry hubby) freckin forever driving home with that constant dirty wet spray coating my car.  Why do I risk my life every day driving 37 miles each way to work? I miss my husband, he’s off to Colorado again.

5:49 pm  -  Not quite the Grand Prix drive on the way home but as I battled to overtake the trucks that were driving a safe slow speed I could imagine myself a drag racer accelerating quickly to zoom by my opponent. I was so glad to get safely and quickly home to my loving family.

6:37 pm – Kids are hungry. I’m standing gazing into the freezer where any possibilities of throwing something together is frozen solid as a rock. I don’t fare much better in the pantry. There are some leftovers in the fridge. Black-eye peas from New Years, beans and ham from late December – gag. I guess cleaning out the fridge needs to go on my to-do list. I think there may be a box of Mac & Cheese somewhere in the pantry. Guess it will have to do.

6:35 pm – My poor babies are starving after a long hard day of studying and practicing. They try so hard to do their best so they will be successful in college. I’m sure I have some fettuccini in the pantry and I can quickly sauté some spicy chicken breast and make a creamy three cheese sauce to go with it. I’m sure I have the makings for a fresh Caesar salad in the refrigerator too.  Dinner will be on the table in no time. I just love sitting down together as a family and talking about our day over a freshly prepared meal.

7:12 pm – Kids are still moaning that they are hungry, I think maybe I can locate some fixins for a sandwich while they start their homework.  Boy child is telling me now that he has to build a car for physics. He needs a piece of wood, something for wheels and an axle and a way to attach it all together and it’s due tomorrow. He also lost the instructions that give the dimensions and rules to construct it. The hardware store closed 12 minutes ago.

7:12 pm – Kids loved dinner and ate until they were satisfied.  Now it is time to tackle homework. Boy child has a project due for physics tomorrow, he has a build a car from a 2x4. This will be so much fun! I’m sure we have everything we will need in the shed. I can’t wait to get this started.

8:10 pm - Yuk, the dog got sick and didn't make it outside, I feel sick myself from the smell. Why is it we never think about tis side of dogs when we get them as cute puppies.

8:10 pm - Remember we don't post yukky things.

11:59 pm – Finally got a car rigged together for the boy child. Couldn’t locate any scrap wood so we used a box, pencils for axels and thread spools for wheels. It moves and that’s about all we can say. I am exhausted.  I feel like a zombie at this stage. I think I look like one too.

10:00 pm – So much fun helping the boy child build his car. We even had time to do a custom paint job on it. I think after he gets it back from his teacher we will have to build a case to display it in. Everyone is all tucked in bed now and I am about to turn out the lights. Goodnight Facebook friends and Family. Hope you all have wonderful dreams.

 

The above post is at times fictional, exaggerated or has previous events added for dramatic effect.  My life really isn’t as bad as the reality me above nor is it anywhere near as perfect as the envy me.   This is really just to show how with well chosen words and a positive spin, our normal lives can become extraordinary.