Over the Hill

 

I think I truly get the meaning of being “over the hill”, it’s like a car picking up speed faster and faster as you head down it towards your final destination.  I think I’m about to hit the sound barrier I am traveling so fast. How long until I break the speed of light and start traveling at warp speed? I of course always knew the meaning of the term but until you are gathering speed as you travel down it personally,  you just won’t get it. I honestly have to say that the past few months only felt like they were two weeks long. I almost wondered if I had unknowingly slipped into a coma for part of them. I don’t think in my youth could I have ever even imagined that time could pass so quickly.

Since my last posting quite a bit has happened. Abate has passed all his STARR exams, and is now officially a high school senior. College in a year, oh I am not ready for that. Fantu is now a junior. She also made it into varsity choir and soccer. Abate had his first real job interview but didn’t get the job and also got his first speeding ticket. I was in the car with him and I know he wasn’t driving anywhere near the speed that the officer said. I think we will fight it. Fantu received her Learner’s Permit and has started learning to drive. This is quite the adventure as she is learning right from the start on a stick shift, yes she is learning on my Honda Fit as it will become her car in January when she gets her license. She is loving it and is doing quite well – she picked it up much quicker than Elmer or Abate did. That was at least until I decided to go ahead and purchase a car for myself now rather than wait until January. All it took was five minutes behind the wheel of my Camry and she was spoiled by the ease of driving an automatic. What had I done? She had gone from being so excited about learning to drive the Fit and it becoming her car to hating it. The excitement of learning to drive had disappeared for her. I keep telling her how lucky she is getting such a cute car and it’s so reliable and fun to drive.  She looks so cute driving it around.  I hope that once she masters the clutch she will realize just how great it is to drive.

So now I suppose everyone out there is thinking have I lost my mind buying a mid-size car, a Toyota Camry. I am after all the one cringing every time I see a gas guzzling super-sized vehicle drive past. Well not to worry as I got a hybrid and it has the same EPA gas mileage rating as the Fit. I did my research on about half a dozen cars that got the same or better gas mileage. I knew I needed something with more backseat legroom (those kids have really grown in five years). I also wanted something with a very quiet ride (Honda’s are notoriously noisy), and it had to have a five-star crash test rating which ruled out a Prius. I love the VW diesels but the reliability rankings indicate a few problems. So at the end of my search I was left with one car still standing, a Toyota Camry Hybrid. One quick look at the sticker price on a new one sent me scurrying to the used car classifieds. Weeks spent looking and a few positive leads that I ended up being too late for and I finally found a 2009 with only 49k on it. It was fully loaded with leather interior and all kinds of neat little bells and whistles. It was at the very top of my price range, but with  mileage that low it was well worth it. The only drawback to it I could see was it was silver (how boring) and it was located at AutoMax in Killeen, the mega-used car superstore with an army of “used car salesman”.  I won’t go into detail about the whole car buying experience there, but I can confidently say I will not ever return. I do at least feel like a got a very good car at a fair price. It is lovely to drive and it feels like I am enclosed in my own little world as I drive to and from work. While it is not nearly as fun to drive as the Fit (again it’s a bit boring) It is quiet. It is so smooth going down the road. It has space for five. It gets the same MPG’s as the Fit.  In fact when this car gets over the hill and coasts downhill it pops up to sixty miles per gallon. It’s the one time that getting over the hill is a really good thing!

Leaving behind memories

Once again I am writing about the loss of someone very dear to me. This time though it wasn’t just one person, it was two.

 First was my Aunt June, my Mother’s baby sister she was 73. She died quite suddenly and unexpectedly.  I had to listen to the voice message several times to be sure I heard it right. I was stunned.  I had just received a postcard from her reminding me about the upcoming family reunion, she had even penned a note to it saying she hoped to see those two beautiful kids of mine.  How could this be? I would be seeing her in less than two months.  Now she is gone.

Less than a week later my Uncle Truman passed away. He also was my Mom’s sibling, one of the older ones at 92 years. His health had been declining in recent years and had he had become seriously ill since falling and breaking his hip a week before. I never had the opportunity to become as close to him as I was several other aunts and uncles since he lived in California for most of my life. I do know this though, that the time I did spend with him was always so much fun. He never failed to make a good impression on me no matter how young I was or how old.

The loss of these two did leave me quite sad. I thought about them so much in the days that followed. I would think about the times I spent with them mostly as a child or teen. The many funny things that happened, the times I was cared for by my Aunt or how as a little kid I was probably very annoying wanting their attention. I can still remember the first time I met my Uncle Truman, I was a preschooler still and I was so excited to meet him that I think I was hanging off of him for several days. I think I was determined to be his favorite niece before he departed Texas to return to California. I was never a shy child and pretty much talked constantly, I used to drive everyone bonkers.  As I thought about them I thought about what I would miss, but my thoughts always turned to memories. I then realized that in the busyness of life they had both slipped away to being someone I would see once every few years at the reunion or see on a facebook post. There wouldn’t be a void in my daily life as there was when those much closer passed away. What I had in my life from my aunt and uncle were memories, beautiful memories that I will always have.  These memories will be touched with sadness now as I think of the loss that accompanies them, but also a fondness of the times that were.

For each one I wanted to share just one brief story.

It was early summer and I ( who at the time was maybe 4 years old) was visiting my Aunt June, Uncle Charles and my very young (at the time) cousin Todd. It was dinnertime and I had eaten my fill and went to get up and go back to playing. My aunt quickly told me to sit back down and ask to be excused first. I looked at her and questioningly said.” What? I don’t have to do that at home.” She replied you are not at home and here you ask to be excused, if you don’t you will have to sit here until everyone else has finished and left the table. So being a red-headed irish lass I sat there very stubbornly until I was the last one left. I’m not sure what either of us learned that day except we were both equally stubborn.

As I mentioned above I didn’t get to spend much time with my Uncle Truman but I do recall in 1975 while I was in high school I went to California with my parents and got to spend nearly two weeks with my aunt and uncle. We got to do lots of fun things while there and I really loved the beautiful home they had. In the evenings the adults would go sit outside while I stayed in preferring to read. Uncle Truman would be sure to keep my parents occupied outside long enough for my Aunt Helen to sneak me a glass of wine. What a treat! I was sixteen at the time and I felt that Aunt Helen and Uncle Truman had to be the coolest adults on the planet.

I will always think of these two with such fondness of the times we shared I want them to know that they left me with great memories that will last forever.  This is what we should all hope for.

Parenting Skills.101

Parenting Skills 101

Surviving the teenage years

If you don’t have a good sense of humor you are in trouble. Nailing Jello to a tree would be easier. Mood swings aren’t just for girls, the boys are even more unpredictable as the swings come without warning. At least with the girls you can look at a calendar and know when it is time get your thick skin on and keep your mouth closed. During a recent such week I received a phone call from the school that went something like this…

Mrs. Hennessy we had to send your daughter to the office today due to a confrontation with another student. The other student was being unruly in class and Fantu got sick of it and stood up, turned around and started scolding her. Now we know she had our backs (the two choir directors) but they got into a standoff and neither one would back down. We tried to get them to sit down, but we had no choice but to send them both to the office.

Yes, my sweet Fantu has the temper of a red headed Irishman (woman). She will also never back down. You could put her in the Hunger Games and she’d probably win it in record time, just be sure it’s that one certain week.

Clothes and teens, we all know how teenagers love clothes. Abate loves them. He knows what looks good on him and loves dressing to impress. He can be quite the peacock when heading out the door. Fantu on the other hand has her sweats days and her diva days. I also have to watch or she’ll have her days dressing in her friends clothes that haven’t passed my skin test - as in I see too much skin.

All I know is if I can’t laugh about these years then I have officially crossed the line to cranky old woman. I don’t ever want to go there so it’s better to just find a bit of humor in it all and laugh.

Parenting the Superstar

This one is tricky. It takes encouragement, compliments, and more time than you have in a day to keep these talented kids focused on what they do best. Trust me they both know they have talent, but it takes long hours of practice, hard work and endless games and competitions to realize their dreams. It also takes tons of patience, driving them places, sitting at games, competitions and practices.  You will need nerves of steel to be their parent. As a parent you are wrapped up so emotionally watching them compete you will feel as though you are going to snap in two. I have burst into tears of joy when they do well, and shed tears of defeat. I am raising them higher with happiness when successful and picking them up off the ground when they fail.  It is knowing when to encourage them and when to step back. It also sometimes means overriding their decisions when you know that to quit would be the worst decision they could make. It’s those things that make you the most hated parent for a bit, but then only to be told months down the road – Mom you were right, I am so glad you made me stick with it. Trust me when that first letter from a college comes expressing an interest in your child – you know it has all been worth it.

Next time…

Keeping the teen in the family.

The Ethiopian Prince

Abate had a soccer game on Tuesday night in Brownwood, it was the district opener. I wasn’t able to go as Brownwood is about an hour and forty-five minute drive from Gatesville. I was really anxious though to see how they did as Abate is friends with several of the players on their squad (the run XC). Brownwood teams always seem to excel at most all of the UIL sports they offer. So by 9:30 I knew the game should have ended and the team should be back on the bus I sent him a text asking how the game went. I quickly had a reply:

                                We were losing 1-0 at the half

                                And came back and won 3-1!!!

I made the plays all around the field!!!

That’s how we scored the two goals

because of me!! Even though I didn’t

get the assist and goals but they

scored because of me!

                               

Whoa here kid, we all know you are talented but it seems a bit of humility would be a nice addition to your arsenal of qualities.  

We have always jokingly referred to Abate as “Prince Abate” because of his high opinions of himself. His self confidence is high and he is not modest in the least when it comes to his high regard of his athletic prowess.  He also thinks women are here to do his bidding.

I’m thinking now I may be partially to blame for this as I am always complimenting and giving positive reinforcement to him and Fantu so that they will have high self-esteem.  Have I gone too far? Abate has always had this attitude to some extent. He has always been a “teacher’s pet” at school and very popular with his peers.  I’ve also noticed that this trait is quite common among many of the Ethiopian adoptees. I’m just not sure how to handle this. I’m thinking that he really needs to get involved of some kind of charitable cause, maybe working with elderly or the disadvantaged. I think by the time summer rolls around I will insist on it unless he gets a summer job. I still think that he should do some volunteer work no matter.  Now just how do I present this to him? I’ve a bit of time to work on it. Ideas anyone?

What did I do?

Something happened in the past few weeks, right around Fantu’s birthday, suddenly she hated me. Overnight I went from being best Mom ever to I can’t even stand to be in the same room/house/planet/insert any location here with you.  I really wish I knew where this was coming from. She complains that I favour Abate and that he gets away with so much more, he gets to come and go as he pleases, and stay over at friends’ houses without asking.  She is treated so unfairly.

I have tried explaining to her that Abate is older and he has been driving for over a year. He has shown that he is responsible and can be trusted. He has earned the privileges that are appropriate for his age. He does have to let me know where he will be at if he is staying overnight or if he is going to Waco. He is not allowed the freedom to come and go as he pleases, even though to Fantu she thinks he is. She has it in her head that she should be treated equal to Abate even though he is two years older. I have tried explaining it to her in so many different ways that privilege comes with age.  She just refuses to accept it. The privileges she has now are similar to what Abate had when he was her age.  

Alan and I are now trying to figure out what has led to this and where do we go with it. I’m not sure if she thought when she turned 15 everything would magically change and now she upset that it is still business as usual or if there was one particular incident (of which I am clueless about) that triggered this. I also can’t help but wonder if there are some bad influences within her group of friends that are stirring up these emotions. I don't dislike all of Fantu’s friends, she has several I really like. There are a few that I just don’t trust and they are often disrespectful to adults. Fantu is aware of how I feel about them too.

 I have a feeling Alan and I are going to be even more hated before we can turn this around but I cannot cope with this hatred and anger she has thrown at us. We have been discussing this morning how we are going to deal with it. Alan has told her no driving lessons until her attitude improves. Not learning to drive will delay her getting her license thus delaying those freedoms she desires so much. Just after I noticed the changes in Fantu's attitude I  told the kids that the first weekend of the month is family weekend. I’m easing them into it by starting it late on Saturday afternoon and running through Sunday. I plan on it eventually being for the entire weekend.I also wanted to do this as their schedules are so busy we get to spend any real quality time together and they've only a few short years before college. I had also told Fantu that she can only stay at each friend’s house once during the month. They can stay over at our house any of the other remaining nights.  Abate had been staying over at several of his friends’ houses quite a bit but that has changed with the start of soccer season. He does stay at Elmer’s nearly every weekend, but we all know the importance of Elmer in this family. I’m also thinking Fantu needs to spend some time in the community. I think I am going to insist that she volunteer after school at the Boys & girls Club. It would only be on days when she doesn’t have soccer but I think she needs to be engaged in something more productive than hanging out at Bush’s chicken spending her money on her friends.  I am going to be so unfair and evil if I do these things to her because Abate was never treated like this when he went through his “hateful spell” .  I think the difference with him was that I knew his was totally hormone driven.  I had been down that road before, it wasn’t easy then and it wasn’t easy with him, but I knew how to get past it and come out on the other side. 

I am really praying that we can get Fantu back to her normal loving self pretty soon.  I love Fantu so much.  I am hurt. I am angry. I am frustrated. Fantu is all those things too.

 Life is not very happy in the doghouse right now.

I Have a Dream...

I Have a Dream…

Yesterday was Martin Luther King’s birthday, a holiday for me and the kids. Alan also managed to work his schedule where he had the day off too. We got to spend some time together as a family for most of the day, a rarity with our schedule. It was a good day overall. I did however stop and think about the man that we were honoring that day with a holiday, thinking of those words “I have a dream”. It led me to think about what inspires a man or woman to sacrifice so much to lead a force that will change the lives of so many for generations to come. Here was a man with dreams so vast that they inspire people even today to stand up for equality for all.

When we were in Washington D.C. we stopped by the M.L.K. memorial, it was moving, inspiring and had such a peaceful presence as we explored it that evening. Surrounding the statue they had quotations from him carved into granite walls, I photographed these as I walked around knowing I’d forget later what they had inscribed.

 

 

 

 

Dr. King’s dreams were for the world, I wonder then where do my dreams fall? My dreams are quite simple, success and happiness for my children. Good health and sound finances for our future. I also dream of things I’d love to do but it is of such simple things. I think I dream most of having time. It is with time free from work and busy schedules that I can then give back to others. I’d love time to volunteer in our community, or to travel and volunteer to work with orphans in Ethiopia. These dreams are simple they won’t change a town or a nation. Now as I think of the man and his dreams and sacrifices I will forever grateful that he didn't just dream he stood up and fought for them.

A Day on Facebook - Real me vs Envy me

I’ve been thinking (yes I know that is a dangerous concept for me) since my last post about posting on my Facebook status just the very normal daily stuff, I also thought about how I could make that daily stuff make me the envy of all my FB friends and family. The thing is, I don’t really post much daily stuff on Facebook so why should I start now. Then it came to me I could do a blog about how my day goes with both a normal FB post and an envy inducing post.  I had better dig out the adjectives and synonyms for this one folks!

5:45 am - My alarm tells me it’s time to feckin go to work. It mocks me in my groggy half-sleep.

5:45 am - I am sound asleep all snuggled in bed with my furry babies. I am having the most wonderful dream. Music softly enters into my consciousness and I am awakened by Siri jokingly telling me it’s feckin time to go to work. I can’t help but laugh every morning when I hear it.

5:48 am – I have to wake the boy-child. It is impossible. How many times will I enter his room  this day.

5:48 am – It is time to go wake up my remarkable son.  He has soccer practice this early winter morn. I get such a kick (lol) out of how soundly he sleeps, but I get to go in repeatedly for the next half hour and do all kinds of silly things to wake him up.

5:53 am – I enter once again the lair of the boy child. He is still unresponsive.  I just want coffee.

5:53 am – Oh boy another fun attempt to get him awake. Maybe I will tickle his chin and see just how crazy he reacts. I am so amazed by the talent of this child.

5:55 am – I remember boy child asked for a cup of coffee this morning. Augh! I guess he will get the one I am brewing and I will put another pot on for myself.

5:55 am – I am so excited Boy Child has asked for coffee instead of tea, he is growing up so quickly. My little 17 year old is drinking coffee, and how sweet is it that he gets my cup.

6:00 am – Open girl childs door to wake her up. She is sitting in bed on her phone already. I get a grunt and a nod to let me know she is a functioning human. She looks like I feel.

6:00 am – I need to get my sweet little girl up so I enter her room and find her already awake and sitting up in bed. She is so responsible.  She is already checking her messages on her phone, I bet it’s that new superhot boyfriend she has. The guys are just queuing up to date her. I am always in awe of her beauty.

6:02 am – AUGH!!!! He still is not up. Can anyone out there in FB land help?

6:02 am – AUGH !!!! He is still not up. I guess I need to get the dogs in here to give me a hand. He just loves getting licked by the dogs. Aren’t dogs so useful for so many reasons?

6:04 am – Success boy child is up and grabs the bathroom seconds before the girl child. Let the yelling commence. My head is thumping. I knew I should have had that 3^rd glass of wine last night.

6:04 am – My boy is up and so excited to go to soccer practice. He loves the challenge of only having 11 minutes to clean up, dress and drive to practice. He won’t have any problem as his nickname is “Speedy” for a reason.  You notice in this post I don’t even mention “the bathroom”.  We don’t want anyone imagining any of us in “the bathroom”.

6:20 am – Coffee finally.

6:20 am – I have been so looking forward to this morning cuppa joe. There is nothing like the smell of freshly ground Seattle’s Best #4.  Just a drop of fresh organic cream (I really need to get my own cow) to make it just perfect. I really need to have some friends over early some morning before work to share a cup with me along with that cream cheese Danish recipe I have been meaning to try.

6:32 am – Trying to coax the girl child out of the bathroom. My eyes and legs are crossed I need in there so badly.

6:32 am – We don’t post about bathrooms remember.

7:12 am – Time to feckin leave for work. Wish me luck, the fog is as thick as pea soup so I know it will give some old lady the excuse to drive 25 mph instead of her usual 45 mph on a 75 mph  highway.  Grrrrr L

7:12 am – Yippee it’s time to hop into my sporty little Honda and cruise on into work. On my way I get to drop my stunningly beautiful daughter off at school. The drive will be extra challenging this foggy morning. I will have to drive extra careful because it will be difficult to see any deer that linger too close to the highway. Can you believe that the speed limit is 75 mph on Hwy 36? That just seems so dangerous and it makes the drive to work pass so quickly. I’d much rather slow down and enjoy the scenery and let those sweet little old ladies pass me by. Vrooom vroom, maybe I’ll give them a wink and see if they want to race (LOL).

10:18 am – I’m starving. I have a tea bag and some Belvita Biscuits in my desk – woo hoo the breakfast of champions. Let’s see if I can get more than a few bites before someone walks in wanting to make changes to their event tonight. Yes we’d love to reverse the entire set-up of 100 tables and 800 chairs in the main hall, we live to make you happy!  That last sentence is to be said in a really sarcastic tone – this is the real me not the envy me me.

10:18 am – I have been so busy this morning the time has just flown by. I think I will have a moment to brew me a cup of green tea and have a healthy fiber biscuit for my breakfast. It is so exciting when we have these large balls in the main hall. To see it go from a blank space to a fully decorated fantasy land in just a day or two is just so amazing. The crew here all work so hard to make it all perfect. It is such an honor to work at such a wonderful place with such a great team.

1:03 pm – My lunch time has now passed, no one to cover the desk.  A meeting just arrived in the conference room which is in between me and the microwave.  Do I dare risk the wrath of the boss and ask if they’d mind if I heat my lunch up quickly so I can eat (with multiple interruptions) at my desk. Woo hoo 9 hours straight sitting here, just might as well glue my butt to the chair. I’ll probably just starve.  I need to lose some weight anyway. My body doesn’t even recognize the term physically fit.

1:03 pm – We are short staffed today so I volunteer to my boss to work through lunch, it’s the least I can do. I have a chicken a la orange to microwave when I get a chance. Maybe I’ll pass on lunch as fasting can be a very healthy alternative. Maybe if it quiets down I will be able to get online and start planning our amazing summer vacation. We hope this year to get back to nature and enjoy lots of outdoor activities. I hope to find a really nice cabin with a gourmet kitchen (much like my new one) so I can try out several of those new recipes in that French cookbook I’ve had my eye on. It’s a good thing I am so fit and can eat just about anything and not have to worry about the weight.     Ok, I am just plain lying here and will probably burn in hell.

3:30 pm – Whoever said get a government job and you’ll be set for life. Never had to work several years without a raise, deal with insane procedures and political games.  Yes I have it made, living the American dream.

3:30 pm – I am living the American Dream! I have a job that will provide me with a retirement plan (provided I work for a minimum of 5 years).  I get to look for creative ways to improve the flow of paperwork which I hope my bosses notice so I can get a pay rise once the taxpayers feel like the recession has ended. I am so happy to do my part in the meantime knowing that for me to get a raise that the good citizens of this town will have to pay a few cents more each year that they could spend on baby formula or a decent roof over their heads.  I think I may look into volunteering in the community too so I can give back even more to this town that provides me with a steady job I love so much.                Okay, I am really going to burn in hell for that one.

4:59 pm – Time to go home! Rain slick roads should make it an adventure. Pray for me.

4:59 pm – A productive day at work comes to a close. Now the drive home through the much needed rain, I am looking forward to the drive from work to home on the rain-slick roads. I love the adrenaline rush! I look forward to the day I will be driving a new Porsche so I can imagine that I’m driving in a grand prix race, windows down, breeze blowing through my hair living the dream.

6:08 pm – Stupid slow trucks (sorry hubby) freckin forever driving home with that constant dirty wet spray coating my car.  Why do I risk my life every day driving 37 miles each way to work? I miss my husband, he’s off to Colorado again.

5:49 pm  -  Not quite the Grand Prix drive on the way home but as I battled to overtake the trucks that were driving a safe slow speed I could imagine myself a drag racer accelerating quickly to zoom by my opponent. I was so glad to get safely and quickly home to my loving family.

6:37 pm – Kids are hungry. I’m standing gazing into the freezer where any possibilities of throwing something together is frozen solid as a rock. I don’t fare much better in the pantry. There are some leftovers in the fridge. Black-eye peas from New Years, beans and ham from late December – gag. I guess cleaning out the fridge needs to go on my to-do list. I think there may be a box of Mac & Cheese somewhere in the pantry. Guess it will have to do.

6:35 pm – My poor babies are starving after a long hard day of studying and practicing. They try so hard to do their best so they will be successful in college. I’m sure I have some fettuccini in the pantry and I can quickly sauté some spicy chicken breast and make a creamy three cheese sauce to go with it. I’m sure I have the makings for a fresh Caesar salad in the refrigerator too.  Dinner will be on the table in no time. I just love sitting down together as a family and talking about our day over a freshly prepared meal.

7:12 pm – Kids are still moaning that they are hungry, I think maybe I can locate some fixins for a sandwich while they start their homework.  Boy child is telling me now that he has to build a car for physics. He needs a piece of wood, something for wheels and an axle and a way to attach it all together and it’s due tomorrow. He also lost the instructions that give the dimensions and rules to construct it. The hardware store closed 12 minutes ago.

7:12 pm – Kids loved dinner and ate until they were satisfied.  Now it is time to tackle homework. Boy child has a project due for physics tomorrow, he has a build a car from a 2x4. This will be so much fun! I’m sure we have everything we will need in the shed. I can’t wait to get this started.

8:10 pm - Yuk, the dog got sick and didn't make it outside, I feel sick myself from the smell. Why is it we never think about tis side of dogs when we get them as cute puppies.

8:10 pm - Remember we don't post yukky things.

11:59 pm – Finally got a car rigged together for the boy child. Couldn’t locate any scrap wood so we used a box, pencils for axels and thread spools for wheels. It moves and that’s about all we can say. I am exhausted.  I feel like a zombie at this stage. I think I look like one too.

10:00 pm – So much fun helping the boy child build his car. We even had time to do a custom paint job on it. I think after he gets it back from his teacher we will have to build a case to display it in. Everyone is all tucked in bed now and I am about to turn out the lights. Goodnight Facebook friends and Family. Hope you all have wonderful dreams.

 

The above post is at times fictional, exaggerated or has previous events added for dramatic effect.  My life really isn’t as bad as the reality me above nor is it anywhere near as perfect as the envy me.   This is really just to show how with well chosen words and a positive spin, our normal lives can become extraordinary.

 

 

I'm Not SMAD (Social Media Anxiety Disorder) !

Listening to the car radio on the drive into work they were talking about Social Media Disorders, I can’t remember the full term it had been given but I have always heard it as Facebook Envy.  Haven’t we all at one time (probably multiple times) been reading a friend’s post and think about just how amazing their life is. They seem to have it all, success, a nice home, maybe wealth, perfect kids, amazing careers and exciting adventures.  How is it some people just have it so lucky all the time.  Just look at me… I’m an administrative assistant in a government job, my husband drives a truck for UPS. Our home is extremely small by American standards (900 sq. ft.), it is usually messy and everything is covered in dog hair. There will be dirty dishes sitting out somewhere and usually headphones, cellphones or other electronics littered across the tables and counters. The bathroom is rarely clean for more than a few minutes. We don’t own a car that is newer than 6 years old.

Raising two Ethiopian teens is always an adventure. Oh heck raising any teenager is an adventure. Helping then with homework in subjects I never took is headache inducing. Trying to keep up with their busy schedules takes multiple calendars and phone reminders.  The back of my car is always packed with stadium seats, lawn chairs, umbrellas and quilts. I am prepared for any weather condition at any game. Getting to my spare tire is almost like unpacking a house. It’s no wonder I drove 38 miles home with a low air pressure light glowing a warning at me last month.

I love to plan and shop for things to try new recipes for dinner only to end up postponing them because no one will be making it to the table for dinner that night. The freezer is often filled with the possibilities of a now future culinary challenge. In recent weeks I have had four planned meals postponed, the only good thing I can say about that is that it cuts down the grocery expenses.

I have dogs. I love to post pictures of the dogs on FB. They are usually pictures taken when they are asleep.  It’s a good thing that pictures don’t emit an odor, because quite often while these adorable old dogs are sleeping so sweet they are emitting the most rancid of farts. Bonnie also has horrid allergies that often cause skin infections. Sadie sheds worse than any dog I have ever owned and Schindler eats dog poo.

Envy me? My life is quite ordinary. I am now 55 years old, gravity is winning the battle.  I have to choose clothes oh so carefully to hide all the lumps and sags that the years tell their tale on my body. My eyesight worsens every year and I find that the most comfortable glasses for me are the nerdiest of Ray-bans. My sore neck is telling me I need new pillows, which is usually a case of trial and error before I find the perfect one. By that time everyone in the house will be sleeping on new ones.

I get excited with exotic trips to the home improvement store and garden center. The only weights I lift are baskets of laundry and my workouts are chasing after the dog after she crapped on the floor. My most exciting purchase in the past year was a robot vacuum that I purchased at a discount on Groupon.

Facebook envy, do I envy you with your beautiful family, perfect job, perfect home and perfect life. Not really because most of have had or will have teenagers, dogs or other pets and will deal with aging issues same as me.  I just hope you dog doesn’t fart when you home is full of guests.

This is me at my very normal job sitting at a desk all day every day.

How Important is this Blog?

It seems this blog of mine has become a bit neglected. I don’t post very often and I am often in need of a muse when I do. I can’t quite figure out why this is.  Maybe life has become so routine that even when there is some major accomplishment it has become the norm, or is it that I have just let things become so busy that I just don’t bother to make time.  I do think though that Facebook has had a bigger impact on my lack of blogging than anything as I would often find myself repeating the same stories on here as I had posted on FB. Since most of blog followers are also on FB, I just didn’t feel the urgency to write.

2014, and no I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions to blog regularly. I have even debated that maybe I should just go on an extended hiatus until retirement. But then I think that at times blogging has been therapeutic for me as I maneuver my way through all the challenges and rewards that comes my way.  Looking back since I first started this blog just over five years ago, April 29, 2008.  It is hard to believe all that has happened along the way. We hadn’t even started the adoption journey, though it did follow very quickly.  The first blog was short,” What’s New at the Dog House “   I posted a photo of the house after it had received a new paint color, new shutters and a much needed hard trimming of the front hedge.  That was followed by a picture of my brand new Honda Fit, which I still drive and have put 125k on it so far. It has been a big part of the journey we have traveled.  I still remember Fantu asking “ Mom, what is a family car?” I told her that they usually refer to SUV’s or mini-vans to which she replied;  “ but  we are a family and this is our car, so doesn’t that make this a family car?” She was so right it has been a family car.  The first few months included lots of stories and pictures about Caleb,  He was so small and we used to have so much fun. He’s no longer my bug, but a big 8 year old kid that is smart, clever and still so much fun when we get to be together.

Sept, 2008 is when we made the announcement on our blog that we were starting the adoption process. We knew it would be an emotional one, but we were unprepared for just how difficult the road would be with objections instead of support from some in my family. It has caused a rift to this day that has not mended.  I will never regret though the decisions I have made.

This blog then changed. It became about paperwork, home studies (which included a bit of humor) and the nerves. Blogging during this time kept me sane. It allowed me to record the process so I would have a journal of that amazing journey. In May of 2009 it became about the kids- Abate and Fantu, two totally amazing children that have touched so many over the years.

Here we are together – a family at last. I now blogged about our adventures, and fun times we had over the summer.  I didn’t post though about the tears they shed (and I along with them) the frustrations at communicating and the overwhelming sadness I felt over the losses these two endured that led them to us (or us to them). It was so easy to focus on the good because that was the norm.

School started and we soon discovered we had quite the little athlete.  How many postings have there been about Abate’s accomplishments. Fantu showed us she could sing, she was funny, and quickly grew into a stunning young lady.  The focus was definitely on them.

There have also been over the years the more serious postings as we have dealt with the loss of those close to us, or in my re-telling  the story of losing my son Trevor on the 10^th anniversary of his death. This blog allowed me to tell things that I kept hidden. To open up after so many years the dark journey that those months were.

Travel Blog… yes at times this has also been a travel blog as we have taken both trips for pleasure and business. We have traveled by planes, trains and automobiles. We have been to the next town and halfway around the world. We have stood on mountaintops and quiet seashores. I have stood on a street in Africa as my life totally changed. We have laughed in rustic cabins and 5 star hotels. We have been in burning hot deserts and huddled around fires to keep warm (in the same day).  We have seen history past and history being made as we visited our nation’s Capitol.  We have stood on seashores in Ireland, Texas, and Maryland and stood under waterfalls in New Mexico. We have ridden the white water in Colorado. We have hiked through amazing mountain vistas, and streets and canyons of concrete. We have visited museums that are fun and ones that bring you to tears. We have made new friends and reconnected with old ones. We have many more dreams of places to go.

I have blogged about illnesses and surgeries. Which have always had a happy ending.  I have at times vented my frustrations and anger. I have made commentary of current issues. I have at just rambled about just how normal life can be, or just random thoughts while my muse was missing.

New Years resolution to write more?  I ‘m not going there as breaking a resolution brings feelings of failure and disappointment. I do see now though that I do need to continue to write here on Teach Madra. . . it is a place to store memories. My electronic scrapbook you could say.

June 2013 in Washington DC