Around our house things always seem to be a bit random. Scheduling and planning seems to be a futile exercise. Plans seem to always go awry. Even sometimes last minute plans will change. There just doesn't seem to be much order lately to our daily lives and routine. I know it will all change soon as we get closer to school starting.
Random can also be fun. Fantu and her random thoughts, outbursts, laughing, and comments. Sometimes she will just think of something funny and let loose a crazy laugh. Last night while trying to go to sleep I could hear her every once in a while let loose a mad giggle. She is also one with crazy random thoughts that she tends to just blurt out loud - usually followed by a mad crazy giggle. Fantu also can get some crazy ideas in her head and it can be a challenge to convince her otherwise. For example, on Friday evening she comes strutting into the living room and says," Mom, I found your hooker clothes!" MY WHAT? "Your hooker clothes." What are you talking about? So she then goes on to describe this lovely ivory satin and lace bustier I wore under my wedding dress ( it had been packed away and she came across it). She wouldn't believe me. She couldn't imagine why I would wear something like that under my wedding dress. I'm not quite sure what she was imagining but I'm sure she was thinking I had once been walking the streets in my underwear, high heels and tons of make-up. She refused to believe me until she went and tried it on - then she got it! She could picture how it would've fitted so nicely with my dress. Her image of her Mom was restored.
She does get some strange ideas about things which can lead to what seem to be really random outburst. But I suppose if you think about the cultural differences and what at times are language misunderstandings they probably aren't all that random. But then again it is Fantu and she does often refer to herself as the evil genius.
Abate and his friends just can't seem to ever decide where they want to be or what they want to be doing. They just seem to bounce around from house to house not ever truly deciding where they will sleep until they end up somewhere having fun. I'll get two maybe three calls an evening asking to stay somewhere. All the houses are usually close by and I'm getting to know the boys pretty well now. I should know them well - they are eating me out of house and home. One of the boys has had dinner at our house the past three evenings. Luckily I always cook a bit extra as the leftovers are always handy to have around the house. Teenage boys are a bit random with their eating schedules, this is in part due to the fact that they tend to sleep til mid-afternoon.
I'm still trying to figure out how to juggle work and home. When things operate on a perfect planned schedule I feel calmer and a bit more in control. Unfortunately that is not how my days operate any more. I'm having to just go with the flow and live more in the moment. I guess I'll just have to start planning some random time.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Dog Days
Well the kids summer holidays just have another 4 1/2 weeks left. They do like to make the most of this time that they have. This is their 3rd summer in Texas and is the hottest one on record. The heat doesn't seem to slow them down though.
Abate seems to be making up for lost time. In Ethiopia there wasn't such a thing as a "summer vacation". They'd get a nice break at Christmas and Easter and maybe a break during rainy season....rainy season - ugh cool and miserably wet all the time so they'd be stuck indoors. That's not a vacation. So you can well imagine the excitement when they discovered in Texas they'd get an eleven week break for the summer. Oh the things they dreamt of doing.... swimming, hanging with friends, watching telly, staying up late, sleeping in late, etc. So here's a breakdown of Abate's past 24 hours.
Monday - Afternoon
2:00 PM wake up
2:30 Call Mom, see if he can cook a pizza.
3:15 Go out and play football
3:30 too hot to play football outside go in and play football on X-Box
5:30 Go swimming with some Girls at the Prison Employees pool.
8:00 arrive home, Eat
9:00 Play X-box, Have Elmer sleep over, talk to and text the girls
2:00 AM Go to sleep
Tuesday - Afternoon
2:30 PM Wake up
2:45 Call Mom to ask what can they eat for Breakfast.
and so it goes....
Fantu in the meantime is spending the week at Teen Music Camp in Kerrville. I know her days are packed with activities from sun-up til bedtime. She'll probably sleep all next week.
Do they call it the "Dog days of Summer" because the kids sleep as much as an old dog? I wonder...
Abate seems to be making up for lost time. In Ethiopia there wasn't such a thing as a "summer vacation". They'd get a nice break at Christmas and Easter and maybe a break during rainy season....rainy season - ugh cool and miserably wet all the time so they'd be stuck indoors. That's not a vacation. So you can well imagine the excitement when they discovered in Texas they'd get an eleven week break for the summer. Oh the things they dreamt of doing.... swimming, hanging with friends, watching telly, staying up late, sleeping in late, etc. So here's a breakdown of Abate's past 24 hours.
Monday - Afternoon
2:00 PM wake up
2:30 Call Mom, see if he can cook a pizza.
3:15 Go out and play football
3:30 too hot to play football outside go in and play football on X-Box
5:30 Go swimming with some Girls at the Prison Employees pool.
8:00 arrive home, Eat
9:00 Play X-box, Have Elmer sleep over, talk to and text the girls
2:00 AM Go to sleep
Tuesday - Afternoon
2:30 PM Wake up
2:45 Call Mom to ask what can they eat for Breakfast.
and so it goes....
Fantu in the meantime is spending the week at Teen Music Camp in Kerrville. I know her days are packed with activities from sun-up til bedtime. She'll probably sleep all next week.
Do they call it the "Dog days of Summer" because the kids sleep as much as an old dog? I wonder...
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
It's not a puppy...
This post will be a bit different from my usual stories or observations that I make. This one is a bit of a rant. Yesterday and again today on an adoption group board the topic of naming your adopted child came up. People posted what they did, what worked, what didn't, some regrets, some success. But one post just really rubbed me the wrong way, they posted about how they changed all their adopted children's names to American names. Their reason... Naming is Claiming. I just want to explode when I even think of that. These children aren't little puppies and kittens, or a lost dog you found and decided to keep. These are humans, children that were in many cases brought into this world with love and dreams by their parents. The names given to them were picked out for a reason.
My thoughts on this are (and this is in part due to our children's circumstance) that these children were brought into the world loved and cared for. I think of their parents, sick and possibly knowing they were going to die, the heartache that they must have felt knowing that they wouldn't live to see their children grow up. Then to think that those children would be whisked away halfway around the world, their identity taken from them. Someone claiming that these children are now theirs. Does giving them names that mean something to you the parent make these children yours? NO! We as parents don't "own" any of our kids, bio or adopted. We are parents, and as parents we are teachers, leaders, and most importantly caretakers. We care for and love these kids - "our kids", but I think more importantly as the parents of adopted kids we parent them not just for us but for their birth parents that didn't get the opportunity to do so. As the parents of adopted children we can't claim them, but we can parent them with the hope that they will grow to love us and respect us as they would've their birth parents. But we have to earn that we can't claim that.
There are those children that are adopted when infants or have a background where changing names is a logical choice, one that many parents give serious thought to. I'm not even saying that changing names is a bad thing - but to go so far as to say that they name to claim....augh. It makes me wonder how insecure are they in their parenting.
I guess I just look on the parenting of adopted children differently. I see them as a gift - a gift that has been entrusted to us to care for. To make them feel loved and secure to give them a home and opportunities that they wouldn't have otherwise. I do this knowing that their parents are watching them and us. I want to look back and know that not only do my kids make us proud, but that Mekonen and Asnaku are proud too not just of them, but of us . Alan and I aren't here to replace their birth family but to complete the job that sadly they were not able too. I can hope that when they are grown they will still turn to us to share all their joys and sorrows, and that they will introduce some day to that special someone as these are my parents - my Mom and my Dad.
My thoughts on this are (and this is in part due to our children's circumstance) that these children were brought into the world loved and cared for. I think of their parents, sick and possibly knowing they were going to die, the heartache that they must have felt knowing that they wouldn't live to see their children grow up. Then to think that those children would be whisked away halfway around the world, their identity taken from them. Someone claiming that these children are now theirs. Does giving them names that mean something to you the parent make these children yours? NO! We as parents don't "own" any of our kids, bio or adopted. We are parents, and as parents we are teachers, leaders, and most importantly caretakers. We care for and love these kids - "our kids", but I think more importantly as the parents of adopted kids we parent them not just for us but for their birth parents that didn't get the opportunity to do so. As the parents of adopted children we can't claim them, but we can parent them with the hope that they will grow to love us and respect us as they would've their birth parents. But we have to earn that we can't claim that.
There are those children that are adopted when infants or have a background where changing names is a logical choice, one that many parents give serious thought to. I'm not even saying that changing names is a bad thing - but to go so far as to say that they name to claim....augh. It makes me wonder how insecure are they in their parenting.
I guess I just look on the parenting of adopted children differently. I see them as a gift - a gift that has been entrusted to us to care for. To make them feel loved and secure to give them a home and opportunities that they wouldn't have otherwise. I do this knowing that their parents are watching them and us. I want to look back and know that not only do my kids make us proud, but that Mekonen and Asnaku are proud too not just of them, but of us . Alan and I aren't here to replace their birth family but to complete the job that sadly they were not able too. I can hope that when they are grown they will still turn to us to share all their joys and sorrows, and that they will introduce some day to that special someone as these are my parents - my Mom and my Dad.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Keeping up with all the hats...
We all have different hats that we wear. I'm not talking gimme hats, cowboy hats. fedora's or fanciful feathers. I'm talking about the hats we wear in the many roles that we are in our daily life. Sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with all the different hats that I wear. Sometimes I have on the wrong hat and because of it I take the wrong approach to a situation.
Mom hat is on, suddenly the referee hat pops on, then the wife hat comes on but wait... mom hat, police hat, ref hat, work hat, mom hat, police hat, ref hat, parent hat, wife hat, work hat. It gets very confusing. I may forget to change hats or the wear the wrong hat, what then? I say the wrong thing, use the wrong tone, give the wrong look. Now what hat do I wear? At this point sometimes I think an anonymous balaclava might be a good hat to wear. No roles, no jobs, no expectations, just quiet, alone, maybe just a "me" hat. I have all these hats because I chose them. I wasn't forced to wear any of them. That doesn't make it any easier to keep track of them and wear them. Often I'm wearing more than one. I just wish it were easier to keep track of which one I'm wearing so I can be sure I have on the right one. It can be tricky keeping up with so many hats!
Mom hat is on, suddenly the referee hat pops on, then the wife hat comes on but wait... mom hat, police hat, ref hat, work hat, mom hat, police hat, ref hat, parent hat, wife hat, work hat. It gets very confusing. I may forget to change hats or the wear the wrong hat, what then? I say the wrong thing, use the wrong tone, give the wrong look. Now what hat do I wear? At this point sometimes I think an anonymous balaclava might be a good hat to wear. No roles, no jobs, no expectations, just quiet, alone, maybe just a "me" hat. I have all these hats because I chose them. I wasn't forced to wear any of them. That doesn't make it any easier to keep track of them and wear them. Often I'm wearing more than one. I just wish it were easier to keep track of which one I'm wearing so I can be sure I have on the right one. It can be tricky keeping up with so many hats!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Back Where We Started
Day 9.
Yes I skipped day 8 which was spent driving through three states. We started off in Colorado, headed down from Salida driving Southeast heading into New Mexico and then took a left and headed east for a few hours before turning south until we stopped in Amarillo for the night. We did have a really good lunch at a roadside cafe that was one of the better meals we had on the trip.
So here we are at day 9. We had a early start and we were on the road by 7:30 AM. We headed down to Abilene where we picked up Hwy 36 - the road we departed out on and it took us all the way back to Gatesville. Home by 2:00 PM. Back where we started. But are we?
Before this trip we felt the kids growing up so quickly, asserting their independence. They spend more and more time with their friends and therefore less time with us. Kids that were once so dependent on us have grown into independent young people. For the past nine days we all enjoyed each others company. We had fun together, joked around, talked, ate and slept together. We learned more things about each other. Abate and Fantu had to face the hard truth that Mom is indeed a bit of a nerd. I love caves and rocks, I find beauty in all the surroundings. I love deserts and mountains, the high plains and the desert plateaus. I believe in UFO's and aliens from outer space. I also love to read and can read a book in just a few days.
We learned that even though a Honda Fit (Jazz) is a small car you can take a family vacation in it and not kill each other before the journey ended( there were times though that I was afraid we would). We also discovered that even though a trip is loads of fun, relaxing, exciting and adventurous there is still no place like home at the end of the journey.
Abate walked in to the house, dropped his stuff in his room and within ten minutes was off to his friends. We've been home 6 1/2 hours and he's still with his friends, but they are all over here and staying the night. So are we back where we started, I guess time will tell. But the memories will be there for many years no matter where we may journey.
Yes I skipped day 8 which was spent driving through three states. We started off in Colorado, headed down from Salida driving Southeast heading into New Mexico and then took a left and headed east for a few hours before turning south until we stopped in Amarillo for the night. We did have a really good lunch at a roadside cafe that was one of the better meals we had on the trip.
So here we are at day 9. We had a early start and we were on the road by 7:30 AM. We headed down to Abilene where we picked up Hwy 36 - the road we departed out on and it took us all the way back to Gatesville. Home by 2:00 PM. Back where we started. But are we?
Before this trip we felt the kids growing up so quickly, asserting their independence. They spend more and more time with their friends and therefore less time with us. Kids that were once so dependent on us have grown into independent young people. For the past nine days we all enjoyed each others company. We had fun together, joked around, talked, ate and slept together. We learned more things about each other. Abate and Fantu had to face the hard truth that Mom is indeed a bit of a nerd. I love caves and rocks, I find beauty in all the surroundings. I love deserts and mountains, the high plains and the desert plateaus. I believe in UFO's and aliens from outer space. I also love to read and can read a book in just a few days.
We learned that even though a Honda Fit (Jazz) is a small car you can take a family vacation in it and not kill each other before the journey ended( there were times though that I was afraid we would). We also discovered that even though a trip is loads of fun, relaxing, exciting and adventurous there is still no place like home at the end of the journey.
Abate walked in to the house, dropped his stuff in his room and within ten minutes was off to his friends. We've been home 6 1/2 hours and he's still with his friends, but they are all over here and staying the night. So are we back where we started, I guess time will tell. But the memories will be there for many years no matter where we may journey.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Day 7, Playing in the Snow on the 1st of July on the Continental Divide
Also a hike up a big hill and a swim in a hot spring pool.
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