In Irish folklore there is a tale about the banshee, she has a piercing wailing scream that means a death is eminent. The Banshee has let her wail sound all to often in the lives of those around me.
When I was a child, then a teen and young adult growing up my life was seldom touched by the tragic loss of someone around me. As a preschooler I remember a younger girl at church being killed in an auto accident. When I was a senior in high school my best friends ex boy friend (but still good friend) was killed in a tragic auto accident. That was it until I was an adult. Yes I lost a grandfather during those early years, but that is accepted, a natural order, a loss that is expected. Was I sheltered and very fortunate to have escaped the Banshees wail? Or did I live in a quieter less violent, safer time?
On New Years Day a 29 year old woman was murdered shortly after arriving home from a New Years party. She was a random target. She died a violent death. She was a good person that made a impact on those around her and in her community. She was a friend of my eldest daughter Andre. I didn't know her. I didn't even know of her until after her death. But it is a death that touched me because it touched my daughter. It also has made me think about how often she has heard the Banshee's wail.
At the age of 8 her young cousin drowned. At the age of 9 our 14 yr old babysitter was murdered by a schoolmate, stabbed over 60 times. The following year a former playmate was killed in a bicycle accident (she crashed her bike and hit her head on a rock). In Junior High she lost a classmate to suicide. She has also lost her brother in a accident, a close friend due to a drug overdose and a cousin to cancer. Many of these deaths also touched the lives of Carrie and Trevor. They also had losses of friends over the years. Suicides, accidents and illnesses. How do these losses change them? Only they can answer that.
When we adopted Abate and Fantu we knew that we were equipped with the knowledge of how loss, grief and all the emotions that tragic loss brings to help them through the adjustment and understanding in dealing with it and how those emotions would play into their new life here. With them I have seen tears, and a pain of not knowing the parental relationship with their birth parents that they dreamt of. I have seen them cry over the loss of their country, their friends and the life that they once knew. I also see the resiliency that children often possess. Will I ever be able to grasp the loss that they have felt and still feel? No, I doubt it. Grief is personal. It is something that is often held very close and private. It is often buried deep within. It is something that we all must face in our lives. I hope for those of you that read this the Banshee's wail is a rare sound. For me at times and my family it has been deafening. It is time for her to shut her mouth and give us some peace for a spell.
No comments:
Post a Comment