It can be tough...

Mother's day today.

Presents, a bit of extra help around the house, a lovely meal later this afternoon, and of course cards. A day to take joy and pride in the job that seems to define me and millions of other women. How many years have I been known as - Andre's mom, Trevor's mom, Carrie's mom, Abate's mom and Fantu's mom? Five children, one grandchild. There have been many rewarding moments, and challenging moments. Moments of love and those of heartache. I've known the joy five times of holding a child for the first time ( six times if you count Caleb) I've known the extreme pain and heartache of burying a child. I've known childbirth and adoption and that the joy is as great with both as is the love.

Abate posted on his facebook page yesterday - If you have an amazing Mother post this as your status. My first thought does he mean me? Does he mean Asnaku his mother that died so young? How can he mean me? He's been angry, frustrated, bored, bitter, well you can imagine how he has felt after getting grounded for a month. He occasionally perks up and will have a laugh with us or play a game with Fantu. I think she is enjoying him being grounded as she's had him here to play with and talk to. Abate hasn't really done much today to make me feel like it's a special day. He's barely spoken two words to me and frequently has given me a cold shoulder. I even told him he could go out and see some of his friends for up to two hours - but no, that wasn't long enough so why bother. grump.. grump... grump.... AUGH!!!!! Apparently I'm the cruelest mom in the world and I only grounded him for so long because he's Ethiopian. He's so sure I never grounded his three older siblings for a month and well he's right. Looking back now there are numerous times I should have though. I made quite a few mistakes over the years and I'm sure I will make more. But I learned from those mistakes and yes it does make me a stricter parent now. I want to say I did everything as best as I knew how to raise them to be good successful and maybe even remarkable adults. I'm not raising them just to make Alan and I proud, but for them to be proud and for their birth parents - Asnaku and Mekonen to be proud.

After mass today we went up and lit candles for Asnaku and said a prayer for her. I think of her often, but even more so on this day. I can't help but think of the sorrow she felt as she died leaving two small children behind. I am grateful to her for the life she brought into this world. I am blessed to be their mom too.

Fantu does have plans today to paint my nails. She wants some mom & daughter time to chit chat and do girly things. My husband has planned a nice steak dinner which I am looking forward to. Oh it should be nice - a beautiful filet mignon. While parenthood can be tough at least I hope my steak won't be.