Insert witty title here.....

Some days you have to have a really good sense of humour to parent teens. Without it I'd completely lose my wits. This weekend it was a struggle to find the humour in the latest crisis.
It's not something that took me totally by surprise, I knew that boys being boys they can get into trouble even when they aren't really trying. So when a knock came at our door at midnight Saturday night I remained calm as I crawled out of bed. Fantu and her friend Katie also headed that way. I figured it was Abate and he decided to come home instead of staying the night at a friends house (who lived nearby). As I entered the living room Fantu had opened the door and called, "Mom you had better come." Well there stood Abate with two police officers standing behind him. Oh great, I had a pretty good idea before they began to speak what was going on. Abate and his friends had been picked up over by some houses near the golf course. A homeowner complained that they were bothering mailboxes and were running around people's yards and backyards. No charges were being filed, so they just brought him home. Apparently they had ventured over that way (about a mile or so) to meet up with one of the lads girlfriends. They were just horsing around over there, all seemed pretty harmless. My issue was it was after 11 pm, they were out and about on foot, they weren't where they were supposed to be. We live in a small enough town with a small police force and they will remember you. Very easy to get a bad reputation and then get hassled by the police whenever they see you.

Abate broke the trust I had in him. He knew he was not to be out that late. He knew there would be consequences if he got into trouble like this. Abate is grounded for one month. He will not be allowed to stay the night at that friends house again - ever. It will be a very long time before he is allowed to stay the night at any ones house again. We are coming down hard on him. He is not happy. He was full of excuses and stories as to why and how it all came to be. Yes, he was just so innocent in the whole affair. Sorry kid - you were out late, you were disturbing people, you broke the rules.

In addition to the grounding I also sat him down and told him what the consequences will be if this should happen again. There will be no second chances. He will lose many privileges. He will be transferred to a Catholic High School near my work. His life will be academics and school sponsored sports. He will not be given an opportunity to even think about getting into trouble.
Am I being harsh? Where is my sense of humour? Boys will be boys after all. Yes they will be and I'm sure some day we will look back on this and have a chuckle, but the only way we would be able to do that is if he stays out of trouble. If he keeps getting into trouble then we will look upon this with sadness knowing that this is when it all started. It is hard raising a boy in this day and age to be a responsible, caring, upstanding adult. It is even harder raising a black boy to be those things as all too often society is against them. I will not let him fail.
Abate has the brains and the talent to go far in this world. He is driven not to fail. Peer pressure can be a powerful thing - many young people have had their lives ruined because of it. It is probably one of the toughest obstacles we face as parents. Parental approval they expect. Approval by their friends they feel they have to earn.

I just hope that some day I can come back and insert a witty title here.....