Jekyl and Hyde

Teenagers- Mood swings, crazy emotions, insecurities, overconfidence, it is a time of extremes. What child will I get today? Maybe even just this hour, possibly this minute?

Once upon a time Abate was my sweet cuddly boy, always cuddled up to me when watching TV, hanging out on the bed chatting. Big hugs before bed. Fantu was the moody one, she'd withdraw from contact. Hide under her blanket at bedtime so as not to get a hug and kiss. Then it changed. It was as if someone had waved a wand and poof they swapped! Fantu became my sweet loving girl. Helping out, sitting and talking. Giving big hugs. Abate meanwhile became.. well... cranky, rude, and challenging. He became a 14 year old boy. Luckily I've had experience with 14 year old boys and I knew that this would pass. I would try not to read too much into his moods - I could not take anything personally even though some days it was hard (we are just now approaching the 2 year mark as a family, so there are still some insecurities). I just had keep firm with the rules, and he has to show me that I can trust him. He is really trying to exert some independence these past few months.He was also getting quite mean to Fantu. He'd pick on her and constantly be criticizing her and putting her down. It was a constant battle with him trying to get him to stop. Some times he'd have her in tears before I could stop him. I then of course had to reassure her that she beautiful, she is not fat, she can run, and she is smart.

Do you have any idea how hard this is to do? Cheer up a crying pre-teen? Fantu usually just says -"Mom you're supposed to say these things, you're a mom." I could tell her all day how beautiful she is and she will not believe it, but just one friend, teacher, anyone other than me tells her she is beautiful - she just glows and says Thank-you.
So anyway I think I kind of rambled off my point here about Jekyl and Hyde teens. I was starting to feel like Abate was destined to be Mr Hyde forever when last night out of the blue my cuddly boy made an appearance. I was in my room sitting in bed watching telly when he came in and laid across the bed. It wasn't long until he had his head in my lap and we were chatting away. He'd give me a hard time about my "jello" calves - hey I was relaxed! He got to calling me "Jello Mama". We didn't talk about anything serious, just about stuff that's going on. I hated it when bedtime rolled around and the evening had to end. But as I tucked him into bed I got a massive long hug and a kiss on the cheek.

So Dr. Jekyl where has your friend Mr. Hyde gone to? I'm sure he's there lurking somewhere just around the corner.