The Tortoise and the Hare

Four years ago tomorrow, May 18th we celebrate physically becoming a family. It was the day Alan and I arrived at the Kidane Mehret Childrens home in Addis Ababa Ethiopia to bring home our two amazing siblings Abate and Fantu. They were according to their newly issued birth certificates 12 and 10 years old. They were tiny though as they both fit snugly under my arm when draped around them. Now four years later at 16 and 14 years of age, Abate is taller than me by nearly two inches and outweighs me by about 8 pounds. Fantu is only slightly shorter than me and outweighs me by a few pounds.

This past year has seen so many changes with them and our relationship with them. Abate received his drivers license and a car back in September, he has asserted his independence and matured so much. I struggle to cope with the loss of my little boy. But as with most teenagers we have at times a battle of wills as he tries to grow up too quickly and forgets the boundaries that we have set. It has at time put stress on a (sometimes) tenuous relationship. It takes a determined effort to keep the parent child bond secure. When things are good they are great, when they are bad we are all just a bit miserable. His behaviors are pretty normal for a teen, but since the parent –child relationship has been built on a different foundation other than birth the emotions are stretched a bit higher.

Fantu on the other hand has grown in confidence and beauty. She has become even closer and more loving towards us and truly considers us as her parents. I even get the unexpected “I love you” from her sometimes said other times written. She enjoys spending time with me and I her. She opens up in private conversations and shares many of her innermost thoughts with me. She keeps us laughing and dancing with her humor and joy. She still sings all the time and is seeing success with the school choir. She even has a solo in the spring program on the 30th of May.

For me these four years have had the speed of the hare rushing through his race. But I know for the kids it has been a long four years as they have struggled to adjust to this new life. For them they have been creeping through like the tortoise. This is a race though that I think we all will win.

I hope to write more this weekend and post some pic’s. But for now I just wanted to acknowledge the day while I have a few minutes. A busy day tomorrow celebrating Gotcha day #4.