Why aren't there maps for this trip?

I feel sometimes like I live in my car. Running the kids to and from school and practices, the long trip to work and back The days flying by as fast as the scenery. I really wish it would at least on the weekends slow down a bit. Here it is another Sunday evening and I am so tired. Six or seven loads of laundry – I lost track, two are still on the line waiting to be brought in. I tried to condense my shopping this week and just do it all at HEB and try to avoid Walmart. I did avoid Walmart but made two stops at Target in Temple instead.
Sports results – Abate placed 5th at the Gatesville Cross Country meet. Very proud of that as he disliked the course as the terrain was rough, uneven and rocky. His nemesis from Whitney was there. Abate had the lead over him until the last ½ mile when his side started to cramp, Whitney beat him by seconds. What an improvement. In 7th grade he'd beat Abate by several hundred yards, in 8th grade it was down to 10-20feet now this year we are talking inches. They will only ever race against each other in Invitational meets as Whitney is a 2A school and Gatesville is 3A, so District, Regional and State meets will keep them apart. It's just a matter of a few more races though and Abate will beat him. Fantu didn't have a meet this week. Cheerleading on Thursday – Abate and I went after his game. We had a nice time sitting and chatting about his race that morning and his football game earlier that evening (lost 20-10). Abate and I even had to cuddle up together to keep away the chill as a cool north wind was blowing. I love watching her cheer.
Friday began with Fantu and I getting into it as she was angry I didn't have money for her to go to the football game that evening. She gets an allowance and blew it early in the week. She then used some money that was for cheerleading that she had ended up not needing and was supposed to return to me. She had spent some of it and tried to cover up that she had. I easily figured it out, she got mad and was very disrespectful to me. She was then under orders to go straight home after school or she would be grounded for a week.
She did go home after school, did her weekend chores (so did Abate) and waited for me to get home. I'd had a few stops to make on the way home and kept her waiting. When I arrived she knew I wanted to talk. She was a bit impatient. She had already apologized via a text message and was still hoping to go to the game and to her friends house for the night. We talked. First about respect and that she will often during her life find that she will have to be respectful to people even though she may not feel like it. If she can't be respectful to me how will she ever be able to be respectful towards others. Her first reaction was to get mad. To get defensive. To start talking about wishing we'd never adopted her. Why would we want to adopt kids when we couldn't spend lots of time with them. Always working and busy. Ouch, that hurt. I would love to be home all the time, be able to go to all the sporting events, programs, school functions etc, but it just isn't possible. So I explained to her why I work the way I do, and this led the conversation to managing money. Which is what I really needed to talk to her about. Money just slips through her hands as soon as she gets it. She loves to spend. But her allowance has to last her all week. She needs money for snacks at her sporting events – sometimes 3 in week. She also likes to stop a few afternoons on her way home to get a iced tea with her friends. And there is of course CANDY with a capital “C” that she just loves – she'd buy it by the big bag full if I'd let her. Oh what a sweet tooth she has. So we discussed how we all have to live within a budget. Just as Alan and I can only spend what we bring home, she can only spend what she gets. If she shows that she can be responsible and wise with what she gets right now we will look into increasing that amount. Now are you wondering if we have the same problem with Abate? NO. In fact with him he just wants avoid spending his money. He actually makes me keep it in my wallet so it is not handy for him to have to spend. Fantu it's about having money to spend, for Abate it is about having money.
So anyway back to my talk with Fantu, at some point I saw a little light turn on above her head – it suddenly all made sense to her. I think she got it. She was smiling. She then asked if she could go to the game. I said no. I thought the two of us needed a girls night out and that we'd go eat out Italian. That sounded great to her – but then she asked could she go to her friends house after dinner. No, I think a movie at home after dinner might be nice, She had just received Beastly from Netflix so we were set.
We went to Prima Pasta where our waiter was a young man whose family we are close to looked after us for the evening. Fantu talked the entire time, I'm not sure when she actually managed to eat her dinner but she did. She talked about school, boys friends, cheerleading, oh and boys. It was fun. We then came home and we watched her teen girly film. When it was done she said – Thanks Mom, I had a really fun night. So did I Fantu...So did I.

I think I'm going to do this more often with her. Maybe it will help to calm some of the frustrations we fill at me being gone such long days at work. I think too it will help with bonding our relationship and therefore help me to earn her respect. It should at least be fun. I know that all too quickly she will be too busy and too grown up to have these moments that we now have the opportunity to share. I know if I don't I will probably regret it down the road.
Too bad there aren't road maps for parenting, we know the journey we want to take and we know the destination – but it is a vast wilderness to be explored as we travel the many miles and years on this adventure. We map our course as we travel each day, a map that will never be the same for another. For me at least on this journey I have some great traveling companions, I'd be lost without them being along for the drive.