On the morning of May 18th Alan and I arrived at Kidane Mihret Children's Home in Addis Ababa Ethiopia to finally meet and bring home Abate and Fantu. They kept us waiting as they dressed to impress their new Mom and Dad. We were nervous, they even more so, but the second they walked into the room it was hugs that never wanted to end. We were a family! We spent the next few hours getting settled in at KM unpacking, trying new clothes and toys. We then went to eat lunch with them and their friends and see how they had lived their lives for the previous four years. It was a week of getting to know them and their country of Ethiopia. It was heartbreaking to leave, but yet so exciting to be heading home to Texas with Abate and Fantu.
This picture was taken not long after we arrived. My they were so small. Fantu was still a little girl playing with dolls and jump ropes. Abate was only interested in soccer.
Our first weeks back in Texas were so much fun but not without it's challenges. Most days were fun and their personalities began to show. The sweet little girl soon proved she was a comedian and performer. Abate made friends and was proving to be a gifted athlete. We often had teary nights as they missed their friends and country. Fears of this new place were often overwhelming. Fantu would shed tears and beg me not to leave her at the Boys and Girls Club (6 months later she was member of the month). They watched clocks and had to know to the minute when we'd collect them. We'd get an earful if we were even a minute late. There were doctor visits and dental appointments. Fantu was terrified of the dentist until Father Anthony said a prayer for her to give her strength and courage. She's done brilliantly ever since. Abate and Fantu had to learn to be a brother and sister again. So many years of him living with the boys in one room and her down the hall with the girls. It didn't take long though until they had developed a strong friendship and a healthy sibling rivalry. I love the bond that these two kids share.
This picture was taken in September on Abate's birthday.
As summer drew to a close and they prepared to start school it was really starting to feel like everyone was settling in and bonding well together. The summer months at Boys and Girls Club really paid off when school started as they saw familiar faces in school. They loved it from the start. Abate hit the ground running - literally as he soon proved to be the star runner on the cross country team. He also did something he said he'd never do - got hooked on American football. The autumn was a whirlwind of sports as Abate played at least 3 different soccer games every Saturday. Cross Country meets were on Wednesdays, all out of town. He was in heaven he was enjoying it all so very much. These few months was Fantu's quiet time. She let Abate shine and waited for her turn.
Abate after winning 2nd place at his Cross Country meet.
The holidays came and they learned about how we celebrate here and they taught us how they celebrate in Ethiopia. New bicycles were the favorite gift. Fantu's birthday soon followed with a party that included a lovely group of her friends from school. She was starting to shine.
Electric jump rope at the Houston Children's Museum.
Fantu was quickly growing up and gaining in self confidence. What an amazing pre-teen young lady she had become. She was now most truly our daughter, so loving, helpful and just a hoot to be around. She became close to her sister Carrie and is quite the doting aunt to Caleb. I knew we had it made when she said to me one day "Mom I can't believe I used to say, you're not my mother." She felt so bad about that. Me- I was just beaming inside and said it's ok Fantu.
Abate continued to excel at school. He played basketball and then of course ran track. His grades continued to amaze as he placed on the honor roll every 6 weeks. He is such a loving boy - he loves to cuddle up on the sofa at night when watching tv. There is still a little boy in there that loves parental attention. Abate is also a 13 year old that is striving for independence. I can honestly say now that sports isn't his only interest. Watch out girls!
The spring was a busy time as they both prepared for their Baptism and First Communion. In the midst of all that we completed the re-adoption and rushed like mad to get the new birth certificates and US passports. It has been a crazy few months. Abate did deal with some sadness during all this as he felt like the door was being shut on his ties with Ethiopia. We have really tried to reassure them that they will always be Ethiopian first. He is doing much better now and is just looking forward to school break for the summer and our family trip to Ireland.
Taken late March 2010.
Abate and Fantu have changed so much over the past year. They have grown up at astronomical speed. They have both grown in excess of 4 inches in height and Abate has gained about 20 pounds and Fantu 30 pounds. They have so much confidence, they are happy friendly children. They love school, they love Gatesville and they love this family.
The family with Godparents at their Baptism. Look at how tall they are compared to the first picture. Fantu is starting to borrrow shoes and clothes from me now.
I think back to a year ago and the thoughts racing through my mind as we traveled to Addis Ababa. Had we done enough to prepare for any and all issues that could arise. Would we bond as a family. Would there be tough emotional and behavior issues that we would struggle with. How would they adapt to school and make friends? Would they be accepted by the community? There are so many unknowns that we could be facing, would we be able to cope? Where would be be in a year? Well it's been a year and we are a family. We love each other and support each other. We love being together. It feels as though it was always this way. Abate and Fantu are incredible kids, they just fit in so seamlessly into our family and into this community. Our issues have been no greater than those faced by the parents of a pre-teen girl and a teen-age boy, and two well behaved ones at that! I wish I had some words of wisdom to pass on that would lend encouragement to those that struggle with their kids. That I did this or that and it worked magic on a problem. It's just that these kids were easy and are easy to parent. They just needed love and guidance. Some days they need a shoulder to cry on. Yes, they need discipline, but they really just needed to have fun, and to be given the chance to be kids. To let themselves shine!
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